self love

Jaded? I didn’t find my soul mate until I did this. You in?

Wayne Dyer -- you don't attract what you want. You attract what you are.

I'm in reflection mode and thinking about my relationship and how I absolutely love it. It’s easy, loving, passionate, rewarding, and a lot of fun and it’s been this way since we met over seven years ago. 

 

Prior to that? My relationships were hard, unfulfilling, and draining.

 

What changed? I changed. After I got my divorce I knew the imperative next step was to work on me. I realized that I was the common denominator in all of my unfulfilling relationships and if I ever wanted to find the love of my life it needed to start with me loving me.

 

An eye-opening quote I remember reading:

 

What appears to be coming at you may be coming from you.

 

Damn! That’s harsh, especially when you want to believe it’s the other person. 

 

I had to shine the light on my stuck patterns so that I could get unstuck and learn to shine. 

 

Since my relationships typically lacked trust and respect I realized that I needed to work on those within me if I ever wanted to attract them in another person.

 

And when I did — bam! She literally showed up — at Allen Golds no less! This seedy dance club may very well be the most unlikely place to ever meet your soul mate! 

 

I found her because I was finally completely open to finding her. I had worked past my blocks and was ready for a healthy relationship because I finally had a healthy one with me. 

 

When I did my self-work I also learned how to..

speak up for myself without apologizing or fearing that I may say something wrong 

be self-compassionate and stop beating myself up for every little thing

uncover my purpose and passions so that dimming my light became a thing of the past 

exude inner-confidence and stopped comparing myself 

love full-on and express myself without tabling my enthusiasm or feeling that I couldn’t be ‘all in’ with someone

deeply trust myself and my ability to be in a healthy relationship

stop self-sabotaging my goals and the better habits I wanted for myself

respect myself by learning about and honoring my boundaries and values 

 

Are you single and ready to do your own self-work so you find your soul mate? 

 

Start here:

1. What is one relationship pattern you notice that you’re sick and tired of?

2. Where does your mind go when this pattern happens?

3. Get curious — How may you be contributing to this pattern?

4. What is one small thing you start doing to shift this pattern in you?

 

Example:

1. I attract guys who are emotionally unavailable.

2. This makes me doubt myself and I think there’s something I need to do different (better, more of…) to make me more attractive to him.

3. * I’m not sure how I’m contributing to this pattern. I feel like I bend over backwards to make sure our time together is great. Maybe I am giving too much of myself away? Are there ever times that I’m not emotionally available because I don’t want to get burned?

4. I’m going to start paying more attention to my emotional needs because I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.

   * This step can be tricky because we’ve typically been too close to the situation for too long to see it with much objectivity. 

 

Your mind developed stuck patterns long ago and they generally feel real, unchangeable, and ‘just who I am.’ This is why it’s common to get jaded, stalled-out, or feel like you have to settle.

 

The good news? It doesn't take as long to unstuck yourself from these patterns as you may think! That is, if you're open to learning and growing.

 

I am developing a master course for single women who are ready to get to the bottom of their stuck patterns so they change their love-life stories once and for all. And I am beyond excited about it! 

 

As I’m developing the modules I’d love to get your occasional input to ensure I capture your biggest frustrations and hear what I would need to bring to the table to make sure this course delivered the kick-ass results you need.

 

If you think being part of my class development tribe would be fun and you’d like to share your opinions please simply click here to reply and I’ll add you.

 

I’ll also start up a private Face Book group since it's a great way for you to give me input and also an easy way for me to offer you tools and useful insight as a thank you ;) 

 

Recap: This course will be for single women who are tired of not finding the right relationship and see that doing their own self-work is the catalyst to change it all.

 

Important: Being part of the development team doesn't obligate or guilt you in any way to sign up once the class is complete. I ain't that kinda girl :) But it may get you a discount if you were interested ;) 

 

Who do you know? If none of this speaks to you but you know someone who might benefit, please share this with them. And hey! Thank you for reading to the end :) 

 

Questions? Holla! 

 

Wanna be part of the class development tribe? Click here and I'll add you. 


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Use this bar/drinking analogy to create better relationships

The law of attraction - Wayne Dyer

I have clients who want easier and more fulfilling relationships or to figure out how to find the one and I tell them that it will come in time after they work on themselves and become who they want in a partner.

The looks I get are pretty priceless and they’ll often reply with stuff like:

“I’m pretty great now!’
But I already work hard to make my relationships work and it doesn't work.” 
I’ve always attracted losers. I don’t have any luck.”
Huh?”

And so I tell them the bar analogy:

Pretend you’re a big partier and you drink too much with your bar friends. You wake up one day and decide this is it! You’re fed up with feeling hung over and decide you're no longer going to be a drinker.

Are you going to keep hanging out at the bar? Of course not. You’re going to find different interests that match up with who you have decided to become — a non drinker.

You decide to start hiking and now you have attracted hiker friends. You drink green smoothies and have great times planning your next adventures together. 

In both instances you have successfully attracted who you are being.

They see what I mean yet I can tell, and sometimes they will flat out say, that they don’t see how it could work for them.

So they start doing the work I assign that strengthens their relationship with themselves and before you know it they are super excited to tell me about their new love interest who treats them with so much respect. Or they happily report that their tension-filled relationship with their parter has shifted and they haven’t fought in weeks. 

Yaaaaaaas!

In the first example, she has become someone who has developed more respect for herself which is why she has now attracted someone who also holds that same level of respect for her.

In the second example she has become someone who no longer takes her partner’s comments personally or makes negative assumptions about what they mean. She has learned how to be confident and ask for clarification and speak up for herself (without guilt or being overly emotional) which is why her partner is also responding better and matching the new energy she’s bringing to the relationship. 

And that's indeed how it works. Be who you want to attract. It's a beautiful way to show up and rock this one precious life of yours.

Are you ready to have a super fine relationship with yourself and become who you want to attract?

Let’s have a chat to see if working together may make sense.

I wasn’t at all confident that I’d ever find my soulmate since I’d never been in successful relationships in the past.

Kelly helped me work on my relationship with myself and gave me tools that allowed me to stop putting so much pressure on myself, helped me understand my stuck patterns and boundaries and encouraged me to have fun and enjoy the process.

And when I did my soul mate literally showed up. We’re in the process of planning our wedding and it’s the best feeling in the world!
— Melanie Silva, Vice President of Smart Furniture

Hardcore Monday Motivation wakes you up faster than strong coffee. Wanna fill up your cup? Drop your name and email here.

Bonus!
Get the tool I use every time my current situation feels heavy, stressful, or icky. It works like a champ to quickly turn it around and I am confident it will do that for you too. Get it here.