self worth

Are you still pulling this crap? People pleasers unite!

Kelly Summersett, pleasing you vs people pleasing

Hey there! Tough love Kelly here with a very important announcement:

Just because you're a super talented, organized, very capable, can make anything work, and say yes to a lot of requests and opportunities kind of gal doesn’t mean you should!

We can’t help we were made pretty damn awesome and can juggle a lot in life without asking for much in return. 

But you know what happens when you don’t course correct? You burn out, act out, become sad or depressed, feel frazzled, and become a shell of yourself.

And girl, life’s too damn short to think you need to stay in that cycle. Hell no! 

People pleasing is what we’ve been taught to do to fit into society. It looks selfless yet you know what it really is? It’s just less-self. 

Let me restate:

Just because you are very capable of saying yes and then juggling and bending to make it all work doesn’t mean you should!

Who are you? What are your passions? What are your boundaries? What do you want to say yes and no too? Why?

Thoughtfully answering these questions is key to a fulfilling and joyful life and guess what? Your relationships, all your relationships, actually work better when you’re honoring who you are and how you want to intentionally show up for your one precious life. 

What will you intentionally say no to this week? Why? Comment below! Writing it down (and sharing it) is positive pressure to follow through.

Like podcasts? We talk all about this topic in our latest episode, Pleasing you VS people pleasing. Tune in where you listen to your podcasts or click here. 

The BEST Saying to Commit to Memory

Kelly Summersett
What other people think about you is none of your business.
— Everyone who has a healthy sense of self

This is hands-down one of the best sayings to commit to memory and practice on the daily and let me explain why.

Let’s start with the person who is giving you shade. Here’s the important thing to know: How they see themselves is how they see you.

So, if they have their own personal issues (and who doesn’t) or don’t have a healthy sense of self they will project their garbage onto you.

Example: You smile as you pass a co-worker in the hall. She has been put on the same project as you and she doesn't return your smile. You assume that she thinks you’re a bitch or that she doesn't want to work with you.

SIDE NOTE: We really never know what other people are thinking about us! We’re great at making assumptions and they’re typically not accurate and slanted toward the negative.

However, for the sake of this example, let's say you're assumption is actually right. She does think negatively about you.  

Here’s where it gets good!

When YOU have a healthy sense of self you won't care.

When you regard yourself with respect you:

  • Cease to care what you think people think about you because you recognize it’s simply their personal perception and truth (which is based on how they see themselves and the world.)
     
  • Believe in, nurture, and promote the qualities you know to be true about you because you understand it’s your healthy opinion about you that matters.
     
  • Make up healthier stories and assumptions about what you think they’re thinking instead of making it negatively about you. In my example above you may simply think they're having a bad day.
     
  • Don’t take people’s opinions personal because you know who you are (smart, talented, caring, welcoming, kind, etc…)
     
  • Have more compassion for others because you recognize that how they choose to see things is about them, not about you.

Want to get really great at practicing this (and more!) and dive even deeper into your healthy sense of self? Contact me for a chat. The tools I teach move people beyond old mindset B.S. and into amazing lives that are crazy happy, calm, productive, energized, and fun!

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