inner critic

The comparison pity party I had with myself

pity party Kelly Summersett

A month ago I wrote about the one small thing I committed to do daily for a month to get me unfunked from my workout slump….run. And not just any run…run up and back down this brutal hill in my ‘hood. 

It took me 10:44 on my first attempt and with consistency my times kept moving down. Get this — by day 11 I shaved off 1 1/2 minutes! 

This was all very encouraging so I decided to increase my training beyond the hill and sign up for The Chattanooga Chase 8K which happened to be around the end of my one month unfunk commitment. This was going to be the perfect race to test my hill training because it highlights a hill from hell — Minnekahda Road. 

So here’s where the comparison pity party comes in. 

I used to categorize myself as a runner. I enjoyed it, it came easy to me, and I was pretty good.

The Chattanooga Chase was the very first race I ever ran back in 2005 and I took 1st as overall female finisher with a time of 36:00. 

This time? I sucked ass. My time was 44:15. The last couple miles hurt so bad it literally felt like I hadn’t trained at all. 

And man, did I get emotional and weepy after the race.

“How could you let yourself go like that?”

“I can’t believe women so much older than you finished minutes faster”

“What a loser and has-been”

“You’re getting so old and flabby. You’ll never be great again”

Oh yeah, my Inner Critic had a field day making me feel like shit and I secretly wallowed in her B.S. off and on for the remainder of the day

And then I decided to call off the pity party and do some productive reflection…

Comparing my current self to my more youthful self is B.S. It’s draining and makes me feel helpless and sad and I’m too mature to give away my power like that. Aging is literally part of life and I get to choose how I’ll move through it.

I was a much better runner back in the day in part because I was running (a lot) to escape parts of my life. Today my life is full and there’s no need to escape and I’m very grateful for that.

My Inner Critic drove me back then. “She” was my negative and shitty motivator yelling at me to always try harder for that perfect body and was always first to point out all the imperfections (body and otherwise) that needed my time and attention. She fed me the line that perfection gave me worth. Hahahaha. I’m so grateful that I’ve learned to recognize her evil B.S. quick and instead listen to my kick-ass Intuition who is so much more kind and helpful :) 

So I went out and ran for an hour yesterday, a week post-race. It was painful and my legs hurt. And you know what? I was grateful. 

Grateful for all those early years that shaped me into who I am today. Grateful that if I decide to get back into the running scene I’ll do it for the right reasons and with a much healthier mindset. And grateful that I get to run. 


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18 dirty words that suck the life out of you (you using any?)

Feeling stuck is a by-product of giving a lot of time and attention to your B.S. Inner Critic.png


Take a look at this list of dirty words!

Fed up

Sick and tired

Stuck 

Depleted

Unhappy

Unfulfilled

Unmotivated

Stagnant 

Tired

Panicked

Depressed

Angry

Hopeless

Resentful

Drained

Settling

Anxious

Ho-hum

I am in the middle of an assignment for a course I’m taking and these are the words the women I’m interviewing use to describe how they feel (or for some, how they felt before we worked together.)

I relate to these dirty words well. They’re the ones I used years ago before the shit hit the fan, I crashed, and then climbed my way out of hell into the energizing, beautiful light. 

Feeling stuck (or insert your own dirty word) is a by-product of giving a lot of time and attention to your B.S. Inner Critic.

Your Inner Critic…

Tells you to play it safe

Tells you not to try because what if you fail? Or succeed? 

Tells you to question your abilities and worth

Erodes your confidence in both directions (you’re doing too good and who do you think you are…or you’re not good enough)

Says that being perfect and in control are the only ways to success and then uses them to negatively motivate you

Tells you your successes and milestones are never enough

Compares you to other women

Equates your worth to how well you please and meet others’ needs (of course before meeting your own)

Makes excuses and justifications for why you’re where you’re at

Says that you should be further along or know how to do it already, just like everyone else

“What-ifs”, “shoulds”, and “worries” you to death 

Always make you feel like shit, decreases your energy, and keeps you feeling stuck

Your Inner Critic’s job is to keep you safe but her demented spin actually keeps you from your dreams, living bigger and bolder, speaking up for yourself without guilt or shame, from being confident in your skin, and from your mind-blowing career or relationship.

The very first step you must take to quiet your Inner Critic? Be aware! You can’t course correct until you recognize her destructive pattern.


Quieting your Inner Critic helps you gain back your life! 


Hey! Are you local to Chattanooga? How would you like to dive deeper into topics like this so you learn how to be your happiest and best self without the Inner Critic B.S.?

I am bringing back The Power of Happy that I lead two years ago in conjunction with CWLI and I’d love for you to join in!

These free monthly interactive sessions are an opportunity for us kick-ass women to get together in a growth-oriented, supportive and non-judging environment to talk about real life stuff and more importantly, learn how to move through all of our real life stuff easier!

Interested? Click here and get in the know!