My control confession and the five steps I used to fix it
There were some things I really wanted to happen last week that didn’t despite my positive outlook and actions. I recognized on Wednesday that I was pretty grumpy about it all and decided to give myself a mental health reset for most of the day. I started a Wayne Dyer book I’ve been excited to dive into and I took a rare and very delicious nap.
When I woke on Thursday my mind was right and I was ready to tackle the day with a fresh outlook and alternative plan.
Back in B.C. times (Before Compassion)…
I would have never allowed myself this time off. I would have been pissed that things didn’t go as planned and I would have pushed myself and the situation harder to get the results I wanted in the time frame I expected.
My days back then were filled with a lot of stress, worry, and anxiety because I was hell bent on controlling all situations and I also judged everything as bad or wrong when things didn’t go according to 'my plan'.
Control. It’s such a common and ugly habit that we all get sucked into on various levels and here’s an important reminder to you and to me:
Whenever you’re trying to control the timeline, expectations, and outcome of a situation you’re pretty much making it up. That’s right. We’re great at making shit up and then getting our shorts in a wad when it doesn’t happen according to our ‘plan’.
Do you see the ridiculousness of that?!
What’s going on today or this week that has you in control mode? Experiment with a better way to move through it by applying these five steps:
Set your positive intentions and take the best positive actions that you know how to do that will move you forward with your goal
Focus only on the actions and attitudes that you control
Trust and flow that things will work out in perfect time (when you keep at #1 and #2). This of course is what we never want to do because we’re such control freaks but trust me on this one…it works.
Be open to twists and turns. Remember: You simply thought it up in your head how it was supposed to go. Maybe, just maybe, there’s another path that will take you to an even better place. Trust and flow :)
Evaluate and reset as necessary — show yourself some damn compassion! Maybe, like me, you catch the deflated spirit bug on occasion, it’s OK! Take some time off (even a couple minutes helps!) to reset and reflect.
It does wonders for your mind and actually speeds up your progress. Powering through and beating yourself up slows down your creativity, problem solving, and results.
I'm curious, how do you let go of control? Share your your tip or strategy in the comments -- we all benefit!
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