Last week Candace and I were eating dinner with the kids and they started talking about this new Netflix series, Stranger Things. They both thought Candace would really like it.
I looked up with a ‘What am I? Chopped liver?’ look and our daughter went on to explain that it’s a Sci-Fi plot.
They know that’s not my thing.
But we started watching it last night and it turns out I do like it. It’s weird but still really good.
I watch movies/TV a bit different from most. I don’t care about figuring out the mystery, I like to embrace and figure out the characters. What holds them back? What are our similarities? What can I learn from them?
I’m always in learning mode.
So, last night’s episode was about a high school girl who was being pressured by her jock boyfriend to drink and have sex. Betcha never heard that storyline before ;0
The music intensified and the camera focused on the girl’s anguished face as she contemplated trusting her gut to say no or cave to peer pressure. Damn. She caved. (People pleasing 1, Gut 0.)
Right after they had sex the guy fell asleep and she sat there with that look of, ‘what the hell did I just do?’ Right behind that came the ‘well that sure was underwhelming’ look. I remember having that look a few times in my life (Guilt and shame 1, Gut 0.)
She showed up to school the next day paranoid that everyone knew what she did. You see, she’s the straight A student who does no wrong and everyone thinks she’s so perfect and put together. (Guilt and shame 2)
You could tell she wasn’t cool with continuing the relationship yet when he walked up to her locker she pretended everything was ‘fine’ and went along with kissing him. (People pleasing 2, Gut 0)
Who can relate to this girl? I sure can. And here’s what I think is super sad:
We learn from an early age to people please and conform even when our gut tells us to get the hell out or speak the hell up.
And then we blink and the next thing we know so many areas of our life are falling into the same predictable and destructive patterns.
– We don’t speak up to our boss, spouse (parents, kids….) to openly and honestly ask for what we want or need (or don’t need!)
– We compare ourselves to unrealistic ideals and then never feel like we’re enough
– We people please and end up being resentful because we’ve gotten so burned out from it
– We worry about what people will think if they find out that we really don’t have it all together and we’re not as successful, nice, talented, perfect (or….) as we seem
– Guilt and shame push us to do even more which keeps us from the healthy and whole lives we’re ironically trying to achieve
– We lose our identity, self-worth and importance and wonder how the hell we can get them back and worry even more that they might be gone for good.
Because I lived like this for waaaaay too long I know where the storyline ends up.
With a big fiery crash.
– You can only people please for so long before you get pissed, resentful and super damn tired
– You can only try living up to everyone’s (and your own) unrealistic expectations and ideals for so long before you burn out
– There is a limited number of years you can ignore your gut without it having a negative impact on your body and health
– There is an even smaller window of time you can avoid difficult conversations without it killing your sprit and motivation
Do you feel like you’re on the verge of crashing? Perhaps you’ve crashed and aren’t sure where to go from here?
MindBodySWEAT moves you away from these types of outdated patterns and into a life that is truly happy, free, and amazing. It’s a very unique course that combines body and mind work and registration opens today! Yeah!
Trusting your gut is tricky however, MindBodySWEAT undoes in eight weeks what you may have spent most of your life ‘doing’. It’s not for everyone. In fact, I only have six spots available if you want to work with me in person. There is also an online option that includes a lot of one-on-one attention.
Maybe this course is right for you now and maybe it’s not. But bottom line: You owe it to yourself to live a life that is genuinely happy (and be able to know the difference!) so please promise to take action no matter if it’s with me, a book, or another coach. Capiche?
BTW, I give 100% money back to anyone not satisfied because that’s how much I believe in this course. Client results speak volumes.