loving yourself

This isn't a typical sappy Valentine post

be your own valentine

This isn't sappy even though I do say the word love ;)

I want you to focus your love on you starting this week because, after all, Valentine is spelled with an I ;) 

Massages, manicures, and facials are great and all (and I have fabulous local recommendations) but when I talk about love I’m talking about what’s going on under the surface. The real shit. 

How you’re showing up for yourself is either adding to your genuine happiness and daily ease or keeping you a bit stressed, making you feel like you need to ‘cope’, or encouraging you to keep avoiding the difficult stuff. 

Real love for yourself shines from the inside out.

Take the top three regrets of the dying for example:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I used to live with all three of these regrets except at the time I didn't see them as regrets or even that they were wrong. I was simply playing into Society’s ‘shoulds’ and wasn't even tuned in to how living this way was negatively impacting my life and health. 

Society says we need to work hard and that we need to squash our voices and passions because fitting in, pleasing others, and living status quo trumps everything.

If these dying people would have been given a second shot at loving themselves from the inside out they would have:

Let go of limited and negative beliefs and built confidence and self-worth so that society’s ‘opinion’ no longer mattered.

Left dead-end careers and relationships and felt true lightness and freedom for living their passions with the right people. 

Stopped associating worth by their possessions, how many hours they worked, their title, or how closely they could ‘fit in’ to society norms. 

Valentine, how do you want to really live the rest of this day? The rest of your life?

Speak up for yourself? Say no? Stop giving a shit about society rules and people pleasing? Be authentically you and take powerful action steps on your dream? Let something or someone go? 

Do it. Live it. NOW. 

Play this life like you mean it and keep the I in Valentine by living full-on while you’re alive! 

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Coming up for entrepreneurs:

How bad of a mom are you?

bad mom

I am not a movie goer but on rare occasions my family hog-ties and drags me there.

Candace did that to me last week. We saw Bad Moms and it was hil-ar-i-ous.

It’s about a ‘perfect’ mom who did her very exhausting best to be everything to everyone and never ask for help. She measured herself to unrealistic standards and made sure to play it small so everyone else could shine and move ahead.

Despite all of her gallant efforts she was in a terrible marriage, her children walked all over her, her boss didn’t respect her, and she was routinely bullied by the PTA President.

Yeah, she was trying so hard to be the perfect mom, wife, employee, and PTA member yet despite it all she stayed filled with guilt that she still wasn’t measuring up. She was a bad mom and she finally lost it.

And then…well I don’t want to ruin it for you 😉

The theatre was a mixed bag; some people laughed uncontrollably, some nervously, and some didn’t laugh at all.

Comedy ceases to be funny when it feels like the joke’s about you.

If I would have seen this movie years ago I would have been one of the moms in the theater not laughing. Why would I think to laugh about a storyline that was my sad reality?

Back then I never felt good enough or that I was accomplishing enough and that lead to decades of stress, lack of sleep, disordered eating, anxiety, bitterness, loads of guilt, workout addiction, overwhelm, and an overall manic life that revolved around everyone but me.

I spent too many years living for others, playing it small, and ‘shoulds’. I was always chasing happiness and being hard on myself which lead me to a life where I would often ask myself, “Is this all there is?”

Just like in the movie, I finally lost it too.

And that’s when I decided to do the work necessary to take my power back over my life and start living it with gusto and happiness!

No more people pleasing, controlling, comparing or perfecting for me.

Once I learned and started practicing life up-leveling tools my old life ceased to exist. In its place is the life I live now which I’m totally in love with! It’s authentic, genuinely happy, very productive and without stress.

I understand it may sound like I’m bragging or exaggerating but I promise, I’m not.

And believe me, if you would have asked me years ago if a legit happy life was possible I would have said hell no. I totally get skepticism.

So I’m curious, do some parts of your life resemble the mom’s in the movie or like mine used to be?

If so, here’s three important questions I want you to answer:

What happens a year (or five) from now if your life doesn’t change?

What is not taking action towards an empowering and kick-ass life costing you?

How far are you going to push yourself until you finally lose it?