Eight tell-tale signs you’re giving too much of yourself away. Important read.
I don't know if you need to read this or not. I just know this topic has been coming up a lot lately and because it's near and dear to me, I want to address it today.
Ever try hard to hold a relationship together? Or think that you’re responsible for it working and that if you do everything right and do enough that everything will be OK?
I used to do that.
I’d think that if I just did more and loved enough for both of us that everything would be great.
Oh hell no!
Women are taught to be so damn responsible, caring, and giving.
And just because we can take on a shit ton and give so much of ourselves doesn’t mean it’s ever in our best interest.
In fact, the disastrous result of us taking on more and more is that we become shells of ourselves because we’ve prioritized the other person and neglected ourselves.
If this resonates, it’s time to put YOU back into your equation and in the top priority slot.
Making yourself a priority isn’t selfish, that’s just the believable lie our society drives home.
Making yourself a priority is the healthiest thing you get to do for you and your relationships (current or future) because when you’re healthy your relationships are healthy instead of hard, complicated, or unbalanced.
Here are eight tell-tale signs that you’re giving too much of yourself away and not making yourself a priority.
— You overthink if you’ve done enough or too much
— You spend a disproportionate amount of time making sure the relationship works and feel guilty when it doesn’t
— You walk on pins and needles because you feel responsible for their emotions
— You put yourself on the back burner and make sure their needs are met before yours
— You are very accommodating and easygoing and often defer to what they want to do
— You take what they say personally and think you need to try harder
— You often get angry, mad, or sad without understanding why
— You lack energy (so common when women are giving themselves away)
I used to be able to raise my hand to all of these and let me tell you, it’s a shitty way to be in a relationship.
These patterns kept showing up in my relationships and after I got divorced I decided it was time to work on being the best version of me and leave those patterns behind for good.
I finally learned what it meant to be in a wonderful and loving relationship with myself.
I learned how to set boundaries, speak up for my needs, say no, and stop thinking I was responsible for everyone else.
I learned that my opinion was just as valid as anyone else’s and to stop thinking it was wrong just because it was different.
I learned who I was, what I liked (and didn’t like), and how to speak kindly to myself.
And when I was finally ready to step back into the dating scene it wasn’t luck that I found my soul mate almost immediately, it was because I did my work and had become my own soul mate who was now ready to attract a like-minded soul.
What happens when we don’t do our work?
Relationships can end up being verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. I have seen it way too many times. And you know what? It happens to very smart women who typically never saw it coming.
Something else I see? Lack of respect. But think about it, it’s human nature to lack respect for someone who doesn’t respect themselves and we're not respecting ourselves when we're giving ourselves away.
This, in fact, was the #1 area I needed to work on for myself.
I promise that putting yourself back into the equation is the best thing you will ever do for yourself and your current, or future, relationship and you, my lovely, are totally worth it.
Do you want to see how having a healthier relationship with yourself and your body works to make you your most productive, authentic, confident, healthiest, and grounded self? Reach out for a 100% no-obligation 30-minute consultation.