Friction is actually GREAT and here's why

Friction is useful

I often give clients a gratitude assignment because it truly is a keystone habit that makes everything in our lives work better.  

Part of the assignment is to reflect on things that have happened in their life that at the time didn’t feel super awesome. In fact they probably felt downright shitty at the time.

Part two? Find gratitude for it.

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going right (and we aren’t even grateful then in a lot of cases because we often take those times for granted) but to be grateful for the hard times? That’s a tall order. 

It’s a tall order with a tall payoff!

So I gave this assignment to a client recently and I love the word she used to describe what those hard times feel like:


What a great and accurate word to describe times when we’re stuck and frustrated, perhaps even blaming others or the circumstances themselves, for our discomfort. 

Friction is there to tell us something! Be grateful for friction.

F then G

Friction then Gratitude

Got friction? What’s it telling you? Be grateful for the warning/clarity/insight, and take the appropriate action. 

A quick example: I felt a lot of friction and tightness when my son was being distant. What was the friction telling me? To speak up. I was grateful I spoke up because we came to a better understanding and now our relationship feels easier. 

Speaking of friction, we often have a lot of it surrounding decision making. 

“Should I speak up to my boss and risk my job or stay quiet?”

“Should I stay in my relationship because he’s nice sometimes?”

“Should I say no to overtime and go to my daughter’s play even though we need the money?”

“Should I eat that donut or the apple? 

We tend to over-think and over-evaluate decisions and often times avoid making them altogether because it stresses us out. 

Did you know? Your brain generalizes "friction" and associates it with pain and avoidance as a rule even when friction may be telling you something important like speak up! or go for it?

If you want to have more time and energy {and less friction} living and thriving with your on-target decisions sign up for our brand new free Under-Thinking crash course.

Help me learn how to under-think!

Even if this crash course isn't your thing please get in the habit of remembering F then G. 

Got friction? What’s it telling you? Be grateful for the warning/clarity/insight, and take the appropriate action.

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