My Divorce Taught me to be Selfish

divorce isn't selfish

Being selfish is a hard sell in our society. No one wants that label because it’s thought of as negative.

I experienced it first hand when I struggled with the decision of getting a divorce years ago. I felt selfish, ashamed, and that I was letting everyone down even though in the depths of my being I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew it in my heart.

I looked to some good friends for guidance and they told me I needed to be happy and that being happy wasn’t wrong. 

Easy advice yet hard to wrap my head around. 

I had spent my life thinking I was already happy (based on society’s definition) so I was pretty shocked when I discovered I wasn’t. 

Admitting this was hard and harder still was realizing I didn’t know what true happiness was. Scarier yet? I didn’t think it was something I could ever achieve because it was so foreign to me.

I connected happiness with making others happy. Doing for me and following my passions and my heart, especially if that meant making others sad (divorce), was selfish and wrong. 

You probably already know what happened…I followed my heart, got a successful divorce, and practice genuine happiness now like my life depends on it, and get this: It actually does.

Let me tell you about a super cool analogy I recently read in The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani. 

He talks about our heart — the organ that keeps us alive — and points out that it’s the most selfish organ we have.

It keeps the best and most oxygenated blood for itself and then distributes the rest to the other organs. If it didn’t do this it would die and take the other organs with it. 

Your best and happiest life depends on you having a selfish heart. 

Is that the mother load of analogies or what!??!

Following your heart (gut/intuition) is exactly what you need to do to thrive at life and that’s anything but selfish so don’t ever let people (especially your Inner Critic) tell you otherwise. Deal? 

Want to develop your selfishness? Happiness? Get the guts to follow your heart? I successfully help people with that. Email me to set up a time for a conversation. 

Here's a run-down of how I help.