A couple of our biggest fears: Failure and Happiness.
I covered fear of failure last week and here it is if you missed it. This messes with most people from time to time and if you’re currently playing small and fearing stepping out of your comfort zone to do something bigger check out the good tips and start practicing! No time like the present :)
But fear of happiness? Yeah, it’s a thing and it’s very common.
We have been conditioned from an early age to listen to the wrong voice. The one that tells us to beware of happiness because something might and probably will happen to mess it up.
Ever feel that turbo burst of love for your partner? Look at your kids while they’re sleeping and feel intense love and emotion? Super excited for your vacation? Land the career you’ve always wanted?
Does it ever scare you? When you’re in those situations do these types of thoughts pop into your head?
‘What’s going to happen to ruin it?’
‘This won’t last.’
‘This is too good to be true.’
‘What if the plane crashes?’
‘Did I leave the iron on?’
‘I think I’m getting sick.’
‘I’m so worried and nervous I can’t sleep.’
If these thoughts are familiar you have happyitis and it’s very common.
Happyitis (non-official term ;0) is the fear of being too happy and thinking you need to approach euphoria with caution.
Your mind forms associations based on your early life experiences and if you’re a normal breathing human your early experiences weren’t always positive and joyous.
So you create skewed perceptions that link happiness with pain, sadness, or skepticism.
— You have a balloon and you’re so very happy until your friend comes over and pops it.
— It’s Christmas and your dog gets run over by a car.
Or how about everything you’ve learned from your family and society?
— You witness your parents droning through life on a daily basis and that turns into your happiness set point
— Your mom always questioning the neighbor’s happiness and saying they must be hiding something
— Your dad implying that your happy-go-lucky nature will keep you from being taken serious or getting promoted at work
__ Society rewarding hard work and endless days vs working smart and being happy
We have learned that happiness needs to be tabled, cautioned, and avoided because it’s frivolous, too far reaching, or simply won’t last so why bother.
Just because we have old thought patterns about happiness doesn’t mean we have to keep listening to them, right?
Ever hear that saying — Your mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master?
Stop allowing your mind to keep replaying yesterday’s or yesterdecade’s programming because you’re giving it too much power.
Take your power back!
Here’s three things you can start doing today to elevate your genuine happiness:
1. Be aware. Start paying attention to what you tell yourself about happiness because awareness allows you to start course correcting.
2. Question your thoughts. Is it logical to think that just because something happened a certain way in the past that it needs to happen the same way today? How can you rethink that? What if you allowed yourself to simply feel the full effects of happiness?
How can you think about your present day situation differently?
3. Find evidence. You will always find evidence for what you’re thinking so start finding evidence that supports your happiness. I promise it's there to find :)
Create and wallow in your happy day :)