Two things we fear a lot:
I’m making this a two-parter because there's a lot I want to say about both of these fears. Let's talk about our incessant fear of failing this week and stay tuned next week to learn why it's very common for our minds to keep us from being truly happy and what we have the power to do about it (here it is).
Staying afraid to fail is killing your ideas and dreams before you give them an opportunity to hatch.
Is that OK with you?
The biggest growth times in my life have come when I did something out of my comfort zone, felt the fear, and continued anyway even if I didn’t do it ‘perfect’ on the first, second, third, etc try.
Gees, which of the 1,000’s of examples do I want to use?
OK, take Motivation Monday. It certainly wasn’t comfortable when I decided to go deeper with my writing to be raw and transparent and my Inner Critic was squawking at me big time.
- What if people don’t like what I write?
- There’s a lot of people out there a lot better than me who have more experience
- Should I be sharing the real me? Won’t that be unprofessional?
- What if everyone unsubscribes?
Afraid to be judged. Afraid to not be accepted. Afraid to fail.
But I did it anyway despite the discomfort and I look back to see the huge growth that transpired because of it!
My delightful and highly appreciated subscribers (that’s you :)) write me on a regular basis telling me they appreciate what I’m doing and that it has a positive impact on their lives.
“I needed this Motivation Monday more than I am able to express to you.”
“I like your Motivational Monday [manic Monday for me] newsletter… I hardly ever read it on time; but when I do finally read it, there is some little nugget in there I really needed to see.”
“You are amazing and I appreciate your motivation immensely. I read Motivation Monday every week and am always inspired. Thank you for what you do.”
Thank you for taking time to tell me this stuff! I appreciate your comments and feedback (both positive and constructive) so very much.
And then I have people who unsubscribe. So, oh well. I can’t please everyone and I certainly don’t have to make up a negative ‘I failed’ story about it.
However if 3/4th’s of my subscribers unsubscribed it would be logical and safe to think that I failed to deliver valuable content in which case I would see it as an opportunity to evaluate and course correct.
Failing to deliver valuable content is very different than thinking I’m a failure and that is one of the top reasons people get tripped up.
You are what you say you are and what you focus on grows so keep your thinking constructive and useful.
Here's four ways to fail your way to success!
Thinking you’re going to fail
Focus on what will go right and what you will learn (that’s either positive or encourages a course correction)
Calling yourself a failure
Obviously, call yourself something nicer since you’re always listening to and finding evidence for what you say :)
Thinking that failure is negative
What if you thought of failure as growth? Isn’t that really what it is? Failure/not doing it perfect the first time is simply an opportunity to learn. If you’re not learning you’re not growing and learning is never a fail.
Using failure as a reason to quit
Use it as an opportunity to keep going!
Fail quick, fail often, and fail up but whatever you do stop fearing it!
Cheers to growth and living happier and healthier!
Next week I dive into Fearing Happiness which impacts most of us on varying levels and it needs to stop, don't you think?