Why you're not achieving your goal. Part I
You want to achieve something in your life, you have a goal, but you’re not achieving it.
Does it make you frustrated? Do you feel like a loser? How about guilt or shame? Have any of those going on?
If you relate on some level it just means you’re human.
Let’s take a look at the top six real reasons why you’re not achieving your goal and some solid ways to move past them so that you turn into a goal-achieving maven!
I am making this a two-parter or I may even turn it into three parts if I think up more. It’s a possibility
HERE’S THE FIRST THREE REAL REASONS WHY YOU’RE NOT ACHIEVING YOUR GOAL:
1. You haven’t wrapped your head around it.
How often do you say that you want to lose weight? Get a promotion? Switch careers or whatever? The key word is ‘want’. Who cares what you want. What are you prepared to DO about it?
When you actually sit down and give your goal some nurturing, ie: time and attention, you actually get somewhere.
Ask yourself these important questions and answer honestly:
WHY do you want to achieve this goal? Is it because you think you ‘should’? Because society tells you it’s supposed to be important? Those aren’t good enough reasons. You’re unlikely to achieve your goal if you don’t have a personally strong and compelling reason to.
And when this happens you end up in a vicious cycle of guilt, shame, and beat downs because you have a goal looming over your head that you have no business trying to achieve.
So, providing you have a worthwhile and meaningful goal the next step is figuring out WHEN, WHERE, WHAT, and HOW you will achieve it. Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance –– the 5 P’s! Plan it out. Plan it all out. Plan out plan B. Plan out plan C. Plan, plan, plan. THEN DO! Take regular, positive, small actions steps!
2. You’re not willing to give up the negative habits that are keeping you from your goal.
For instance, you’re committed to losing weight yet you’re still cramming your mouth full of Twinkies. What is the benefit you’re getting from the twinkies? I know your first response is to say that there isn’t one, but you’re wrong. There is a perceived benefit. Comfort? Something to do because you’re bored? Your romantic relationship isn’t ‘sweet’ and fulfilling?
When you identify the perceived benefit you’re receiving from your negative habit it allows you to shift into a healthier habit that moves you toward your ultimate goal.
Take the Twinkie example. You decide that your ‘benefit’ of eating them is comfort. How can you find comfort in another way? The goal here is to replicate the perceived benefit with something healthier that will actually move you towards your goal. Do you get comfort when you talk to your mom or a friend? That’s a much healthier way to get the benefit you need and moves you toward your weight loss goal.
Yeah, it takes reflection, sitting still to listen, perhaps some journaling, and definitely some effort but it’s always, I repeat ALWAYS, worth it in the end because you actually get unstuck, achieve your goal, and enjoy more happiness!
3. You don’t really believe you can achieve your goal.
You can be fired up to achieve your goal, have very compelling and real reasons why, yet still self-sabotage your efforts if you don’t truly believe you can achieve it or that you’re worthy to.
It happens all the time and you’re typically the last to know. Why? Well it’s not because you’re a dummy, you’re very smart. It’s because you, me, pretty much everyone, has old and outdated limited-belief mindsets that run on autopilot. Ones that we haven’t challenged in years, perhaps ever.
Start bringing awareness to what you’re telling yourself because you hear everything you’re saying and then manifest it into reality with actions or inactions.
Look out for thoughts/words like:
“I would really like to ____ but it will be too hard (too much of an investment, take too much time, distance me from my friends….)”
“I don’t know how.”
“I’m afraid I won’t succeed.”
“What if I fail or don’t do it perfect?”
They’re all subtle versions of basically saying you’re not worthy or that you’re afraid of happiness. I kid you not. We’re afraid to be happy because we’ve been programmed to be negative and to always be prepared for the other shoe to drop, etc.
What to do instead:
Recognize and become aware of what you’re saying and thinking and challenge it! Is that really true? What if you believed the opposite instead? How does that make you feel?
You have the limited and outdated beliefs you have today because of how often you have repeated them. SO….start repeating something better and more useful. Thoughts and words that actually get you moving toward your goal!
It’s not until you truly believe it that you will achieve it.
Next week I’ll talk about three more real reasons you’re not achieving your goals.
Stay happy until then!