Do you worry? Have anxiety? Stress? Get stuck? PLEASE READ

Thoughts need to come and go

Aren't thoughts fascinating? And complicated? And simple? 

 

Ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed and feel very down? It’s based on your thoughts. And then by the time you get back in bed for the night (or hell, even after that first cup of coffee) you’re considerably more hopeful and happy? This is also based on your thoughts.

 

Sure, you might be rolling your eyes right now and saying, “Wow, Kelly, that’s some mind-blowing revelation you just made.” 

 

I know ;) So hear me out. 

 

We are thinking beings and think all day and all night. In fact experts say we average 60,000 thoughts per day. 

 

Have you ever stopped to observe your 60,000 thoughts? If you’re like I was for decades I rarely questioned them. 

 

If one showed up I had to honor it and prescribe the corresponding emotion or feeling to it. I became the thought. And it was typically the same negative and stressful thoughts that I paid the most attention to over and over and over. Of course. 

 

Side note: Lots of studies prove we have a negativity bias which is why we pay closer attention to worse case, focus on what’s wrong, etc.

 

Five minute challenge: I challenge you to write down every singe thought you have for the next five minutes. You may get a hand cramp but it will show you just how many thoughts you have and how random they are or what pattern you’ve developed.

 

So what can you do when you’re thinking negative thoughts, positive thoughts, any thoughts?

 

Learn to observe them, let them flow, and stop giving them all so much power, especially the negative ones.

 

Our thoughts are supposed to flow like clouds and you can choose how much focus and attention you give them as they’re passing by. You can observe them as they’re passing or you can literally go to painstaking efforts to follow them and not allow them out of your sight. 

 

Flow vs control. Big difference.

 

Us humans like control, fyi. And that gets us nowhere.

 

What you focus on grows and so it never makes sense to give your unproductive and negative thoughts so much power that they break you, keep you stuck, or chronically stressed.

 

Your thoughts are designed to flow yet by controlling them and keeping them as is you are not allowing new, better, more creative, and hopeful thoughts to show up.

 

What you focus on grows and when you become an observer of your thoughts vs always having to ‘be’ your thoughts you turn into a powerful human who stops getting so wrapped up in identifying with stress, worry, anxiety, and other negative ways of being.

 

Another benefit? When you become the powerful observer of your thoughts you can begin questioning them and pondering their validity. 

 

Here’s some powerful questions to ask yourself and answer:

 

  • How long have I thought that? 
  • Is that even true? 
  • What evidence have I been seeing based on this line of thinking? 
  • What better evidence would I see if I changed my thinking?
  • What is another way I can view this? 
  • How would I like to move through this situation?

 

All thoughts can be just thoughts that pass by. It’s when we give them a lot of time, attention, and emotion that we mess it up, start identifying with those particular thoughts, and then find evidence for them in our daily lives. 

 

Remember:

 

  • You don’t have to be your thoughts, especially the ones that are shitty
  • You have the power to be an observer (vs a slave) to your thoughts 
  • Ask better questions of your thoughts and take action on your better answers
  • Thoughts turn into emotions/feelings, which turn into words, which turn into actions and evidence, then habits and beliefs, then how you live and go through life
  • When allowed, thoughts can change and this can change everything 

 

Thoughts are powerful, no doubt, but you have the power to pick and choose which ones will serve you best in life and this is powerful shit to know, internalize, and practice because when you do everything else falls into place and life works 100% better. 

 

Cheers to your 60,000 thoughts! Use them well and prosper.

Where Stress Originates and How to Fix It

The basis of stress -- Eckhart Tolle

What a profound and accurate summary of stress.

And get this:

Your 'here'  or what is is exactly where you’re supposed to be no matter if your what is is not what you’d prefer. 

Understanding this helps to grasp 1) that you have a lot of responsibility for creating your what is 2) the importance of surrendering to it and 2) taking the right actions to move yourself out of it calmly and without self-inflicted stress. 

Here’s an example: 

Ethel is frustrated because she’s being taken advantage of at work. It’s been stressing her out for way too many months and she wishes her boss would pick up on the hints she drops that she needs to leave at 5pm, which is about the time he lays a last minute emergency request on her.

Ethel has spent several months being mad at her boss and blaming him for not being respectful to her. She’s stressed and tired and feels powerless over the situation.

Ethel's what is is stressful because she doesn't like it and she wishes it wasn't happening. And according the Eckhart Tolle this is the basis of stress. 

She decides to examine how she created her what is by objectively asking herself better questions and answering them.

  • Why does my boss think he can do that to me?
    • (because I don’t speak up for myself)
       
  • Why don’t I speak up?
    • (because I’m afraid he will get mad)
       
  • Why do I think he’ll get mad?
    • (I really don’t know that he will but it’s happened with another boss in the past so it could happen again)
       
  • What if I speak from the heart about a solution and he’s receptive?
    • (good idea, Ethel, let’s try it) 

She schedules a meeting with her boss to discuss the 5 o’clock pattern, how it’s affecting her, and a couple solid solutions.

Her boss thanks her for speaking up, is receptive to her ideas, and asks her to implement them.

Bam! Ethel created a happier what is that's no longer stressful.

Here's a recap:

  • Ethel created her stressful what is by playing small and not speaking up.
     
  • She initially fought against her what is by expending a lot of negative energy on it vs surrendering to it.
     
  • By asking herself better questions she was able to take responsibility for her what is and then take positive actions to move into a better and more empowered place. 

The very things that stress you out are the very things you need to get to the bottom of so that your stressful what is shifts to a fulfilling, abundant, calm, etc. what is.

You have a choice. You absolutely have the option to go through your what is kicking and screaming, mad at the injustice, worried and anxious about the ‘what-ifs’, or depressed that things aren’t working according to ‘plan’. In fact that is how most people choose to deal with their what is’s.  But I gotta ask, if that’s you, how’s that working out? Is it stressful? You also absolutely have the choice to surrender to and accept your what is and ask yourself better questions so that you take action and responsibility to move into a much healthier what is.  Surrender, responsibility, and action are the magical tickets to ending the stress and turmoil of your what is. Want to know the top benefit of doing it like this?  You move through your stressful what is faster. Think of it this way: Kicking and screaming, worrying, and what-ifing consume your energy, stress you out, and drag you down. It's literally how people drown.  You know how people live? By staying calm, surrendering to their what is and using their critical thinking skills to take responsibility and the right actions. Cheers to creating a happy and thriving what is! Like this post? Then I'd love for you to be part of the Motivation Monday Tribe.  It's hardcore motivation on the day you need it most (and so much more). Sign up.    

You have a choice.

You absolutely have the option to go through your what is kicking and screaming, mad at the injustice, worried and anxious about the ‘what-ifs’, or depressed that things aren’t working according to ‘plan’. In fact that is how most people choose to deal with their what is’s. 

But I gotta ask, if that’s you, how’s that working out? Is it stressful?

You also absolutely have the choice to surrender to and accept your what is and ask yourself better questions so that you take action and responsibility to move into a much healthier what is. 

Surrender, responsibility, and action are the magical tickets to ending the stress and turmoil of your what is.

Want to know the top benefit of doing it like this? 

You move through your stressful what is faster.

Think of it this way:

Kicking and screaming, worrying, and what-ifing consume your energy, stress you out, and drag you down. It's literally how people drown. 

You know how people live? By staying calm, surrendering to their what is and using their critical thinking skills to take responsibility and the right actions.

Cheers to creating a happy and thriving what is!

Like this post? Then I'd love for you to be part of the Motivation Monday Tribe. 

It's hardcore motivation on the day you need it most (and so much more).

Sign up.