The #1 Must for a Stunning Relationship

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have

I write Motivation Monday each week based on my life experiences and what I see going on around me. Relationships seem to be the hot button at the moment so let’s talk about them shall we?

Candace and I just celebrated our 20th three month anniversary. We celebrate every three months because the first three months of any relationship are the best so we like to keep that alive. It works :) 

My relationships haven’t always been so fulfilling, loving, and fun to say the least and when I look back to evaluate the key has always been me. 

So today I want to tell you what I believe is the #1 must for a stunning relationship: 


Think about it, the relationship you have with YOU is the longest relationship you will have with anyone ever and it’s the one you must develop first before you will ever have a strong relationship with anyone else. 

Are you the person who is always nagging at yourself to do more?

Complaining to yourself about how you need to be further ahead in life?

Angry with yourself because you don’t have willpower to refuse the donuts?

What kind of relationship is that? Why are you putting up with all of that negativity that is coming from you to you? What would you say if your partner was telling you all of that garbage?

What would life be like if…

You gave yourself props for the thousands of things you have already done that are great (that you’ve discounted and overlooked)?

You had confidence to speak up for your truths and values no matter what other people thought? 

You gave yourself permission to trust that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in this moment? And then embrace it?

You stopped using negative motivation, willpower, and ‘trying harder’ to accomplish things and recognize when you loosen up your grip that things actually work easier and better?

When you develop a better relationship with you your romantic relationship gets better too. 

Why? Because the relationship you have with your partner is a reflection of the one you have with yourself. 

That’s a hard ass fact. Like it or not. 


Being more loving and compassionate with yourself allows you to be more full-on for your partner and them in turn for you. 

Trusting yourself to follow through with plans and goals elevates what you will in turn trust, expect, and receive from your partner.

Having confidence in your gifts and abilities teaches your partner to respect them too. 

You up for a growth assignment?

Since your romantic relationship is a reflection of the one you have with yourself answer these questions: 

How do you need to up-level your relationship with you that will allow you to develop an even more loving relationship with your partner? Or attract the right partner?

Do you need to…

Speak up for your values and truths? 

Set boundaries that you will honor?

Tell your Inner Critic to buzz off? 

Respect yourself?

Trust yourself?


I challenge you to pick a small actionable right this second and hold yourself accountable to do it this week and then watch the beautiful reflection :)

Want to talk about relationships (or anything else for that matter?) My50 days to 50 experiment is still going on (through April 18th) and I would love to give you a half hour to tackle whatever is on your mind. It’s confidential, action-oriented, and a valuable use of your time (plus I pay you!)

Kelly Summersett