guaranteed ways to make the holidays miserable

Three ways to be miserable this season (and the misery antidotes!)

Anne Lamott quotes

This week officially kicks-off the six week holiday season for many and here’s three guaranteed ways to ensure you have a miserable time… so don’t do them and practice the misery antidotes instead please!

 

#1. Compare your life, situation, or family. We all have B.S. in our families and in my 50 years on this earth I have yet to meet a ‘perfect’ family like the ones depicted on TV, Facebook, or the movies.

So PLEASE, save yourself time, stress, and worry and refuse the comparison temptation.

Misery Antidotes:

Find humor in your situations because taking everything so serious and personal is a drag

Celebrate who you are, what you like about yourself, and the things you are grateful for about your situation or family. There’s always something positive.

Two minute resets of deep breathing or reciting a positive mantra. Do this as many times as you need so that you continually bring yourself back to now. Now is the only time you can be grateful, smile, or take a positive/useful action.

 

#2. Have expectations about how things will either go super bad or super great. You know what I mean — you fester for weeks in advance because you know Uncle Rudolph is going to stress you out. Guess what? He will because that’s what you’ve focused on.

Or you play the story in your mind that everything is going to be really great. You lose here too because you’re attempting to control too much.

Misery Antidotes:

Accept the people and situations you can not change. The only thing you control is how you are going to influence the situation or person so choose to make it positive.

Be proactive and determine your mindset or strategy in advance. If Uncle Rudolph has said the same rude comments since 2012 there is a good chance he will say them again. But guess what? You can change how you respond or head him off at the pass by changing the script — he won’t know what hit him :)

Two minute resets of deep breathing or reciting a positive mantra. Do this as many times as you need so that you continually bring yourself back to now. Now is the only time you can be grateful, smile, or take a positive/useful action.

 

#3. Take everything personal

“What did she really mean by that turkey comment? 

Wayne Dyer always said, “What someone thinks or says about you is none of your business.” 

If someone is snarky or rude remember it’s their character coming through not yours and you simply don’t have to play along. 

Misery Antidotes:

Practice compassion. A tall order I know but get this: Hurt people hurt people and only a hurt person will say words that sting. 

Ask yourself better questions. There’s a reason your button gets pushed so ask yourself better questions and give better answers. You taking something personal is about you so figure out why. And figure it out in advance so you’re prepared to let it slide off your back, have a useful reply, or other effective action.

Two minute resets of deep breathing or reciting a positive mantra. Do this as many times as you need so that you continually bring yourself back to now. Now is the only time you can be grateful, smile, or take a positive/useful action.

 

Create these next six weeks on purpose and allow them to be easy, fulfilling, happy, or (insert your own) -- just anything but miserable :) Cheers! 

 

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